With more women entering the workforce, household responsibilities are being split between men and women. Husbands and fathers are taking on more of the chores and child-rearing roles than ever before.
Conflict often arises in relationships when there’s been a miscommunication. Whether it’s unclear expectations regarding who is responsible for keeping the house tidy, or simply not being aware of a partner’s financial status, it’s vital that couples consider that today’s shifting gender roles require them to be as open and honest as possible.
Here are a few conversations that every couple should have:
Household responsibilities
These days, everyone is expected to pitch in and pick up their share of daily chores. Playing to each other’s strengths and preferences is a great way to make sure no-one is left doing all the grunt work. Families need to decide how simple chores like cooking and cleaning will be handled. For example, either agree that whoever cooks does the cleaning, or that the person who created the meal doesn’t have to tidy up afterwards.
Caring for family members
Fathers not only want to, but also expect to be more involved in how their children are raised. That doesn’t mean only being on hand when it’s time for discipline. Cultivate both spouse’s nurturing side by setting aside time for family members to connect outside of the family unit, such as a soccer game with your son or a movie date with your daughter. There are also plenty of ways to help when baby first arrives, either by getting involved in bath time or taking turns to make dinner and tidy up.
It’s also important to know the family’s expectations regarding ageing parents. Are there siblings who can share financial and physical responsibilities? Do you have room for parents to move in if they need long-term care? Spouses may have differing views on how involved they should get, so discuss these matters ahead of time.
Financial transparency
One of the best parts of a relationship is deciding on your goals and dreams together. Keep the lines of communication open between yourself and your spouse. Regularly check on your progress, and make sure you agree on your priorities and how you will handle unforeseen circumstances, such as retrenchment or disability.
Asking for help
It’s important to remember that things that may seem obvious to you aren’t always clear to your partner. If you expect them to manage a certain task, ask them to do it and communicate clearly what you want them to do. Putting on a load of laundry, but not hanging it out to dry may seem like a simple thing, but it’s often these types of conversations that result in the biggest confrontations.
Making the decision to spend your lives together doesn’t necessarily mean that you think the same way or have the same expectations. Listen, ask and, most importantly, do!
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