One of the most important things that a parent can do for their children is to teach them skills to help them lead happier, more rewarding lives. It’s a big responsibility, but also a privilege to give your kids a solid grounding to guide them safely into adulthood.
Drugs and alcohol
As a role model, your views strongly influence how your kids think about alcohol, smoking and drugs. Kidshealth.org suggests using “teachable moments” to start the conversation. If you see a character on TV smoking or getting drunk, talk about what it does to their body and brains. Discuss the dangers of drunk driving, like causing accidents or potential death, and the possible repercussions, such as jail, with your children.
The National Council on Alcohol and Drugs Dependence in the US says that kids who have these conversations with their parents are 50% less likely to use alcohol and drugs than those who don’t.
Kids are exposed to these risks at a very early age, so teach them to say “no” to peer pressure and how to act as an individual. Encourage them to leave uncomfortable situations and to feel comfortable enough to call you or another responsible adult at any time, no questions asked, if they need rescuing or their lift has been drinking or using drugs.
Be aware that traumas such as a divorce can lead kids to turn to alcohol. Teach them that even when life isn’t going well, using booze or drugs to escape can make a bad situation far worse.
Money management
Kids who learn money management when they are young have a better chance of being financially responsible adults. Instill in your children an appreciation for the value of things by encouraging them to save some pocket money every month. This helps develop a healthy saving habit as children can see their money earn interest enabling them to buy something special, instead of getting used to instant gratification.
Eating healthy
Cooking is unfortunately a dying skill, but it remains the key to a healthy lifestyle. Even if you’re a ready-made-meal aficionado or prefer going out for meals, introduce a few cooking sessions and make tasty treats like home-made pizzas. It offers valuable bonding time, is great fun and gives you a meal at the end of it. When your children finally leave home, being able to cook is a hugely valuable skill as well as more economical. Similarly, keep a bowl of fruit on the table instead of sweets or biscuits to encourage healthy snacking.
Stand up for yourself
Nobody wants their child to be a bully, but you don’t want them to be cowed by their peers or get into trouble because they’re too timid to say no. Standing up for themselves is also useful in the classroom, since it can take courage to ask for an explanation if they don’t understand the lesson. It’s a life skill that will stand them in good stead in life and in business.
Congratulate your child when they manage something that is difficult for them. A child who hears: “Well done, I know that was tough for you!” is buoyed by the recognition and becomes determined to keep trying.
Good manners
Good manners never go out of fashion. Teach your child to say please and thank you and to be polite and helpful to others. It’s also important for them to know how to apologise – and why they should – when they do something wrong. Again, it’s something kids learn through leadership, so setting an example will help your kids learn the lost art of politeness.
Water babies
South Africans love the water, but every year many children die in tragic drowning accidents. Take them to lessons or teach them yourself. It’s great fun, good exercise and helps get their eyes off the TV, computer and cellphone screens for a while.
Choose happiness
Happiness is about an attitude, not things. It’s about being loving and nurturing and showing your kids that even when life is tough or circumstances unfair, we have the power to choose how we react and how we feel. For example, if you’re going through a divorce, help your child to write a list of good things every night, even if it’s only stroking the dog or seeing their friends. Teaching your children to seek out happiness from within, not from external things, is a gift they will carry with them that’ll enable them to rise above the unexpected punches of adulthood.