According to research conducted by Chandra Louise, a management expert, 80% of employees who quit their jobs do so because of problems with their bosses. It’s no wonder that many feel the need to hand in their resignation at the end of every week. Stacey did — she picked up her year-end bonus and started looking at the classifieds again, updating her resume and dropping hints in conversations. She got an offer in a month, and quit.
But was there really nothing more she could do?
Like a marriage, the boss-worker relationship is one that needs work in order to last. The best teams are usually long-serving ones, as any manager will tell you. And, like a marriage, it’s a relationship that works best when there’s as much giving as taking.
Here’s what you can do to bring your boss and you closer together.
1. Don’t beat about the bush
If you think you’re busy, then you’re probably not ready to take your boss’ place just yet. Remember that the higher up you are in an organisation, the less you actually do with your hands. It’s your mind that does the work. So, although his hands may seem idle, rest assured his brain is quite occupied. When you’re going to see him about something, don’t waste his time with niceties. Make sure you have a list of everything you want to see him about, and tick them off as you go along. He’ll appreciate your consideration for his time, and it will let him know that you’re all business.
2. Don’t get defensive
The inevitable friction that arises between boss and worker usually starts with the boss criticising the worker’s performance. Your natural response is to defend yourself, especially if you’ve put in your best effort. But getting defensive means giving in to your emotional instincts, which can lead to tears if you’re not careful. It’s important that you maintain a clear-headed, objective mindset when your boss is ticking you off about something. Listen again to everything he’s said – is it warranted? Just consider the possibility that maybe – just maybe – he’s right.
3. Be politic
Often, bosses want something done without having to spend money, increasing your workload without increasing your salary. Now, this is very unfair, as we all know (your boss as well, probably), but must you come right out and say it? That would be accusing your boss of exploitation, something he’s not likely to take very well . . . especially if he’s not the one signing your cheque. If he cannot influence how much you get paid, then why give the poor guy a hard time? Just politely explain that you have too much on your hands already, and you don’t think you’d be able to do a very good job at what he’s proposing. Remember that your boss probably has his own boss to deal with, and much of the time, he’s just passing on an instruction.
4. Recognise your boss’ strengths
Unless you work in a family-run business, your boss probably landed his present job because he demonstrated a certain skill or quality. Maybe it’s his uncanny ability to spot a bogus deal. Maybe it’s the way he can turn any prospect into a sale. Maybe he’s terrific with managing large-scale projects. Whatever it is, he’s there for a reason. He may not be perfect – no boss is – but try to see his strengths anyway, and appreciate them. Use them whenever you can — that’s what he’s there for. By doing so, you’ll not only give his or her ego a much-needed boost, but also learn from the master himself.
5. Don’t be pushy
One of the frequent complaints that workers have about their bosses is that they do not give them what they need to do their jobs better — more resources, bigger budgets, newer PCs. But you have to understand (again, especially if your boss has his own boss to deal with) that all this costs the company money. Remember that your boss might know things you don’t — the company could be planning an expensive expansion and needs its funds for that, for example. So, although a well-timed reminder now and then is okay, it is important that you do not cross the line into being pushy and be labelled a complainer.
6. Listen as much as you speak
Seriously, when is the last time you listened to what your boss had to say? It’s very tempting to think that bosses don’t know anything about our jobs, and that the company will fall apart if we’re not there. Don’t be foolish. Your boss sees things from a very different perspective. If you think they have nothing better to do than to criticise you on the job, think again. It’s much easier to just replace you. Start listening, and you could save yourself a whole lot of trouble.
7. Resolve conflicts early and quietly
Like arguments between husbands and wives, if disagreements are not resolved early, the wounds will fester and become permanent scars. If there has been a conflict, and some of the things you said were not completely justified, then swallow your pride for two seconds and admit your error. It takes a big heart to do that, and your boss will recognise your maturity for it.
But that’s not all. You should also make sure that you make peace with your boss quietly. No one likes to be spoken of behind their back. It’s hurtful and spiteful. The less people know about it, the better. Which brings me to the next point.
8. Don’t be a gossiper
The Office Gossip is not a nice moniker to have, and among all types of employees, this is the type that organisations need least. Research by psychologist Brian DesRoches from Seattle, in the US found that such office pastimes as gossiping, back-stabbing, moaning and covering-your-backside waste between 20-50% of workers’ time. So, if you’re already moaning about your boss to other people, stop. If you’re not, don’t start.
9. Don’t be petty
One of the most annoying types of workers a boss can have is the type that complains about everything from the lukewarm coffee to the wilted ferns in the lobby. And, as if that were not bad enough, this person actually brings these things up in meetings. Often, workers of this sort were spoilt as children, and are used to getting things their way. But if you want your boss to respect you as an adult, then refrain from asking him to get Waterman ballpoint pens for office use “because you like them.” It’s petty and childish, and if you don’t like it, you’re welcome to leave. Your boss will only heave a sigh of relief.
10. Your boss has needs, too
Surprise, surprise, you’re not the only one who has a job to do and bills to pay, you know. And you also may not be the only one finding your career at a dead end. Just as you need a sense of satisfaction at work, so does your boss; even more so when he’s got a boss of his own, which makes him a worker just like you. Don’t give him a hard time unless he deserves it — there is very little difference between the two of you. Like you, he’s just trying to do the best he can. Now, why would you hold that against him?
Are you a bad boss?
According to research by Cyndi Maxey, author of Training from the Heart, you are a bad boss if you:
- Embarrass your workers in public
- Don’t follow up on your workers’ ideas
- Withhold praise
- Ignore professional growth needs
- Demand unrealistic rules of order
- Are vague and indirect
- Show you don’t care
- Are a Know-it-All
- Ignore differences between individuals
- Never apologise or admit your mistakes
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